My kids start three days a week of pre-school next week. They’ve been going two days a week since January this year, and now that I’m a more proficient designer, and the work is piling up around us, I need to move to three days. Heck I WANT to start doing three days. Two days aren’t enough time to “own” the job. I’m hoping three are. I love the creativity, the sense of importance, and yes REWARD my job gives me. But! There’s always a BUT! The Mummy Guilt. Oh the Mummy Guilt. Will they be ok? Will they be happy? Will we, as a family, cope with me not at home to do the “home jobs” (I can’t say housework, just can’t). Will it be too much for the Little Man, who is after all only 2 years old? (mind you, he’s the one who runs off happily the moment we arrive and rarely even waves good bye – a good sign – no?)
I love the pre-school they go to. It’s the first of over, gosh, 10 or more I have visited in my short parenting career. And not a single one made me feel happier in my gut than the one they go to now. It’s so busy with activity, so loving, the same teachers are there as the first day they started, they RARELY get sick (unlike the cesspool poor Princess Firecracker attended in Newtown when she was younger. Grrrr.).
I guess the only thing I can do is trust my instincts and be thankful that I am in the glorious position where I don’t HAVE to work for us to make ends meet. We can stop if we need to. I should remember that I am working for the break I need from full time parenting and am unable to get without paying a nanny/daycare. That I am creating a new path for my career – one that fits in with my family. One where, in years to come, I will work from home. I will have the luxury of walking my kids to school and being there when they get home. And those years will be many, many more than the few we navigate through now.